Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot PIE!!!

David Cross explains...

Now we're onto one of my favorite dinner pies!  I remember growing up and painstakingly waiting for the individual frozen ones to cook in the oven (30 minutes?!  Who are they kidding?) before diving in and scalding my mouth on the delicious chicken lava that erupted from this metal tin of goodness.

And then they introduced the microwavable ones, and it only took 5 minutes before joy was at my fingertips.

And then I ordered a chicken pot pie for dinner at Perkins right before a soccer game in high school and thought I was going to be sick as I ran around with 2,000 calories of chicken and cream and crust rolling around in my stomach.

And then it was back at Perkins two weeks ago that I saw a waitress carrying a pie to a nearby table and it dawned on me to cook up a chicken pot pie for myself!

Seriously, I LOVE the stuff.  It's the perfect comfort food.

So I set to work on finding a recipe, this time learning from my mistakes on the last pie and reading the comments section for each recipe.  I found one that looked great and got great reviews, and after tweaking the recipe a bit based on suggestions from the readers, I set to work.

It's a basic set of ingredients: crust, chicken, chicken stock, cream, flour, butter, onion, celery, carrots, peas, and garlic.  I purchased a rotisserie chicken, rather than cook it up myself, and for a few good reasons.  Rotisserie chickens are the most delicious time-saver ever.  They're juicy and packed with flavor, so you don't have to worry about the chicken being too dry if you were to cook it yourself, and they're extraordinarily cost-efficient.  I only used about 1/3 of the chicken in the pie!

Also, this time I decided to measure out all of the ingredients ahead of time and set them out in front of me.  I completely get why cooking shows do this.  I tend to be a frazzled cook, and I often overcook things as I scramble to mince the garlic I forgot about or sift the flour.  With everything pre-chopped and pre-measured, baking this pie was smooth sailing!

Basically, you melt a shit-ton of butter in a pot, then sautee in the onions and garlic, add the flour, chicken stock, and cream and simmer that until it thickens.  Then add in the veggies and chicken and pour the whole mixture into a crust.  Put on the top crust, bake it, and voila!  Chicken Pot Pie!

Holy pollo, it was awesome!  Just as good as any pot pie I've had before, if not better.  And it was so remarkably easy, I can't wait to try it again.  I'll just have to remember to make twice as many pies next time... we gobbled this one up quick!

With the leftover chicken, stock, and veggies, I made a pot of chicken soup (look at me go!), which was also quite good, especially considering the only seasonings I had were garlic powder, salt, pepper, and oregano.  And I still had leftover chicken!  Seriously, rotisserie chickens are fantastic.

So anyway, that's that.

Now, in the last post I mentioned the possibility of a Laura/Paula project, which could've been cool had my boyfriend not come up with something that's roughly 1,486 times better.

Get this: Cooking Across the U.S.!!!

I'm going to spend next year cooking a dish (or a meal) from each of the 50 states!  How cool is that?  That way I either get 2 weeks off, or I use those 2 weeks for Thanksgiving and the 4th of July (U.S. holidays don't get more American than that). 

But anyway, I'll cook by region and start up a new blog to get ideas from people across the country on what dishes I should cook.  Appetizers, salads, main courses, fish, meat, desserts, drinks... everything is up for grabs.  And I'll share the stories of that food and that state and hopefully learn (and provide) a bit of insight into the history and culture of the U.S.

Now, I just need a name.  Pans Across America?  The United States of Food? 

However it turns out, here's to another year of yummy goodness.  :)

The Laura/Paula Project?

I love Paula Deen.

If you've read this blog, you should be well aware of that.  I watch her show just about every day after work, and everything she makes looks like buttery, creamy, thigh-expanding heaven.

It dawned on me the other day that Paula Deen is, in some senses, the Julia Child of our day.  She really loves food and the comfort and joy behind it, and is never one to skimp on the ingredients that truly make it soar.

I've realized more and more just how much I love this style of cooking.  I buy only whole milk for my baking, and often switch to cream if I think it'll make the recipe tastier.  I'm the exact opposite of "light" recipes.  And yes, my stomach, thighs, and hips are proof of this.  For the most part, I'm okay with that.

I wish I could've counted the sticks of butter I've used in this pie project, because it's the ingredient I buy the most of.  With pie, there's just no way around it.  There's no such thing as a light pie... or there shouldn't be.  Every single pie recipe calls for butter!  And I love it!

So anyway, this Paula/Julia comparison got me thinking.  My pie project ends in September, and I've been thinking about what next year's project will be.  Crazy, I know.  This project has been expensive enough... I don't know why I want to tack another year onto it!  For the most part, my consensus has been to spend the next year improving on my favorite pies from this year.  It wouldn't be as intensive as this project has been, and I won't have to make one a week if I don't want to, but I think it would be great to really get good at this.

But then a crazy idea popped into my head the other day, inspired by my reading of Julie and Julia.  What if I started the Laura/Paula project?  I could call it something else, of course (Operation Butter?), but what if I got one of Paula's cookbooks and tried to cook my way through it?  Is that 100% insane?

Granted, Julia wrote one of the greatest cookbooks of all time.  It's been revered for years as one of the classics, along with the Joy of Cooking.  Paula, on the other hand, has numerous cookbooks with significantly fewer recipes.  It would be a different sort of project.

But if I picked the right one, it could be kinda cool.  Yes?  No?  Thoughts?

Anyway, I bring up Paula Deen because I made one of her pies.  I saw it on her show and I'd been looking forward to it for weeks.

However, it was a downright fail.

:(

I couldn't even finish my slice!  So I guess that's a pretty bad omen to Operation Butter, but I won't be daunted.  Because this was PAULA'S fault!  Not mine AT ALL!

Here's the scoop.

I decided to bake Paula's Key Lime Mousse Pie, which sounds absolutely devine, were it perfectly executed.  It was full of my favorite things: cream cheese (3 sticks of it), key lime juice, white chocolate, and cream.  Lots of cream.

I melted cream, key lime juice, and the white chocolate on the stove, and then added unflavored gelatin.  I thought it was weird, but whatever.  Paula knows best! 

Except she didn't.

Here's where the pie went wrong.  I'm copying this line from the recpie verbatum: Add 1 1/4 ounces (1 envelope) package unflavored gelatin.  Okay, unflavored gelatin comes in 1/4 ounce packages.  So even though the recipe said 1 envelope, it CLEARLY also stated 1 1/4 ounces.  NOT one 1/4 ounce package.  So I added 4 envelopes (the box only had 4... I didn't feel like buying more).  FOUR.

Anyway, I finished the recipe and it was tasty and creamy and looked perfect.  I poured it into the crust and froze it for 24 hours, as instructed.  However, when I went to slice into the pie, it was hard as rock.  Virtually impossible to cut, no matter how much I ran the knife through warm water.

I finally got a few slices plated, and holy cow, was it awful!  It wasn't at all creamy like it was supposed to be... in fact, each bite kind of separated in my mouth and crumbled.  It's hard to describe, but as Brianne put it, "My tongue doesn't want to touch it!" 

Blech.

The lime flavor was barely there too... it basically tasted like curdled, frozen cream cheese.  Horrible.  We all threw our slices out and I began to investigate.  I learned something from this... always read the comments on recipe sites!  Not only do you get tips on how to improve recipes, you get comments on HOW THE RECIPE WAS WRONG AND IT'S TOTALLY NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

Apparently, Paula did in fact mean one 1/4 ounce (no "s") package.  But she worded it so terribly, I didn't feel at all bad about screwing it up.  And I wasn't the only one... quite a few people did the same thing.

Kristine tried to be optimistic and thought perhaps it would taste better if it were thawed a bit in the fridge.  Wishful thinking.  It's still awful.

3/4 of a pie was thrown out.

Tragic.

So anyway, now what do you think of Operation Butter? 

Pie is Champion

It's true, folks.  In a polled competition, pie has won victory over cake!  That's wonderful news for pie lovers like us, is it not?

Read the full article here: http://jezebel.com/5510811/pie-vs-cake-pie-is-champion

The things I've learned...

When it comes to pie baking, I'm learning a few things.

I've learned never to wear black when baking.  Flour is remarkably annoying to get out of clothing.  Sure, it seems easy at first, but there's always a spot missed somewhere.

I've learned that fruit should be thawed and as well drained as possible before it goes into a pie crust.  Unless you want to be drinking fruit syrup from a straw as you eat your now soggy pie, get the juices out as best you can!  Not that drinking fruit syrup isn't fun...

I've learned that when in doubt, it's always best to have extra ingredients at hand.  At least 25% of the pies I've baked this year have been incredibly close calls, and some have even been disastrous because I was using up the last of the flour I had or the only can of sweetened condensed milk.  Leaving little room for error is a fantastically stupid move.

I've learned that very few people will ever turn down a chocolate pie, but lemon is a much tougher sell.  Or perhaps it's just my lemon pies that are so sketchy.

I've learned that pie should never be rushed.  Far too often I've given myself less than the bare minimum amount of time needed to bake a good pie, and there's definitely a difference in quality.  Even a good pie, if baked quickly, won't be great.  To sound 100% cliche, it's the ones that are given extra patience and yes, love, that are the tastiest and most memorable.

I've learned that the right pie pan plays a huge role in the pie's outcome.  I started this project with 1 pan, I now have 5 because of this.

I've learned that in many cases, the easier recipe is often just as good as the more intense ones.  No need to attempt anything fancy, especially as an amateur.  I've also learned that in many cases, it's okay to pick and choose from different recipes and combine them to create the pie you want.

I've learned that a pie is nothing, nothing without a good crust.  It's absolutely essential.  If the crust is bad, no matter how good the filling, it will go down as just an "okay" pie at best.

I've learned that pie is best shared.  It's so cool to me that people have favorites and stories about the pie-tasting experience.  That's what this is all about for me.

This list could go on for quite awhile, but here's one final tidbit (and lo and behold!  It's also a segue into the pie!):

I've learned that I can't expect perfection the first time I make a pie.  This is especially true with instructions like, "Over medium heat, cook and stir rapidly until chocolate melts and mixture thickens. Remove from heat."  How thick?  Who knows!  How long should I cook it?  No idea!  Best of luck to you!

Way back in my first post, I mentioned the movie Waitress as one of my inspirations for this project.  So I decided to pay homage to the movie by baking some of the pies Keri Russell makes.  The first one being "Falling in Love Chocolate Mousse Pie."

The recipe seemed simple enough... a chocolate pudding made with sweetened condensed milk and water instead of regular milk combined with whipped cream and chilled in a pie crust.  I set about making the pudding on the stovetop, and here's where the vague instructions came in.

I stirred until the pudding mixtures started to thicken, then removed it and let it chill for awhile.  Not knowing how thick it should've been on the stove, I assumed (like the instructions said) that it would turn into pudding as it cooled.  But no dice.

Nope, the mixture stayed soupy even after I folded the cream into it, and after cooling the sucker for 4 hours, it hadn't gotten any better.  So into the freezer it went.

The frozen version of this pie is still pretty tasty, but has a slightly gritty texture.  As Brianne put it though, it tasted just like a milkshake that had been re-frozen.  So if you like re-frozen milkshakes, this is the pie for you!

I guess I still have some things to learn.

Some more of what? I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?

For the past few weeks, I've been riding high, my friends.  I've been baking new pies with new methods and different ingredients, and they've been coming out perfectly every time.  I've been in pie heaven, making praise-worthy concoctions and feeling good (and maybe a little cocky) about my skills.

I was confidently chug-a-lugging along, whistling a merry tune (if only I could whistle), snapping my fingers (if only I could snap), and bopping along to a funky beat I like to call "pie-baker-extraordinaire."

Yup, life has been goooooood.  Pie has been goooooood.

Until now.

My success must have angered someone somewhere, because last week I was knocked off of my high horse and flat onto my amateur deriere.

*sigh*

I once again had pie fail.

So last weekend I went to Chicago for the day to do some shopping, and there are a few stops that all trips to that glorious city require: Garrett's Popcorn (cheese popcorn that stains your fingers for days... it's to die for), Giordanno's Pizza, and the Hershey Store.  The Hershey Store is a weird one to make the list, as it's a nationwide thing, but the store is so dang cute and the chocolate is so dang fresh that a stop in is an absolute must.

Luckily, I hit all three of the above delicious hot spots that day, and my inspiration for last week's pie came from the Hershey Store bakery (thankfully... can you imagine a cheesey popcorn pie?  Gross.).  I decided to attempt to make a S'more Pie, based on the delicious S'more Bar I had at the bakery.

The idea seemed easy enough: a graham cracker crust, a chocolate filling, and a marshmallow topping.  This bad boy was going to be a piece of cake!

Now, I think there are two main reasons for the fail.  One is that I tried to make things complicated with my filling.  Rather than just make a thick ganache or pudding layer of chocolate, I opted for a complicated fudge pie recipe that involved roughly ten ingredients and a bit of baking.  Not my wisest move.  Apparently simple is better after all.

Well, the first problem might be directly related to the second problem.  Where I shoved my laziness aside on the filling attempt and picked a more labor-intensive recipe, it came back in full force later, when I decided to bake the pie in my toaster oven rather than the conventional oven downstairs.  One flight of stairs.  Yes, I'm that lazy.

Basically what happened is the filling didn't set all the way through, but looked set from the top, so I threw some marshmallows, chocolate chips, and peanut butter chips on top and broiled it a bit, thinking it was fine.  It then didn't have enough time to refrigerate, so when we finally bit into it, the filling poured out in a lukewarm, sloppy, raw goo.  It was about as tasty as it sounds.  Blech.  Some of the filling also soaked into the crust, which made every component BUT the mallows kind of disgusting.  Pretty much everyone agreed.

Well, except for Alison, who channeled her inner Joey Tribiani: "What's not to like?  Crust: GOOD, Filling: GOOD, Marshmallows: GOOOOOOD!!!"  I don't get it, but she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it.

For those of you who didn't get that reference, read here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0583482/quotes?qt0177651

So, now I know to follow one simple rule: K.I.S.S.  Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Otherwise no one will want some more.

Except Alison.